Long time: Confusion, Music and Nicknames.

Hey Blogging World

Wow it's been a while. How have you been? Like I am genuinely interested to find out how you are as I haven't posted in what feels like forever. In fact it's only been a month but that feels like forever in blogging years. The truth is, I don't even have a reason for not posting. I guess I just haven't needed to share anything with you. But there is a time when you must either post to say sorry but you're quitting or get your act into gear and continue posting. I'm not a quitter.

I am a confused person though. I often become confused when I over think things, and this happens a lot. I started talking to a friend again the other night and they asked me some things that caused my brain to feel as though it was about to explode because of all the thoughts running through my head. When people ask you a direct question and you can't give them a direct answer, you feel kind of useless. You don't want to let them down but you don't want to have to write a whole paragraph explaining every thought going on in your head that just makes you look messed up. Even if you are actually messed up, which I probably am. Confusion also causes regret. Regret of not doing something. Regret of saying something completely opposite to how you feel. And you think you're doing it for the better of the other person, but does that mean that you don't care about yourself and your feelings? I don't think it does. I have a habit of putting other people before myself and then finding myself getting hurt but I can't complain for the fact that I usually bring it upon myself. I'm sick of being confused. Things are never straight forward and there's never a straight forward answer to any question so people should never expect one. There's always going to be an 'if'or a 'but' in an answer. I feel like I've just done the messed up thing and written a paragraph on every little thought. Woo.

Veering away from life's first world thinking problems.. I SAW MUSE THE OTHER NIGHT!!! It had to be one of the most amazing experiences of my life. Birds of Tokyo came on and were incredible. The half an hour wait, which became even longer when people wouldn't get to their seats! Lights went down, the crowd went wild and the best 90 minutes ever began. They just had a presence about them that was jaw dropping and I could see them a million times and love every time I saw them. Just pure perfection.

I have also developed a problem. Yes, another one. This blog should be re-entitled 'Annalise and her Issues.'
I recently started working at a cafe. It's a great job and I love it but the music is beginning to become repetitive. Not only am I learning all the lyrics to all the songs, but I come home and am listening to these songs. Thank goodness it's actually good music otherwise I would not cope! Just one of my favourites...

I need a nickname. One that will catch on. I have one friend who calls me kittycat as I smile like the Cheshire cat. It's wonderful and I love it however it isn't doing an excellent job of catching on as the nickname requires an explanation that I do not have the patience to tell whoever may ask. I also do have another nickname if you could even call it that, don't really appreciate being called anal in the school hallways. Therefore I need a nickname. You're probably thinking why could she just not go with Anna or Annie? I have developed the same disapproval as my mother on this matter that anyone who likes the name Anna or Annie so much can go ahead and find a girl with that name because it's not mine. Lisey could always catch on, but that's kind of a family thing with my little brother calling me that when he was younger.

I'm not sure if I have got everything out of my system, but anything else too personal I'm just going to have to write on a piece of paper and burn.

La Vie Vivante.