Isn't it crazy how a friendship with a person can change in an instant.
One day you can be messaging flirtatiously and the night after they tell you to get out of their life. Then they come back a week later wanting to be more than friends not realizing the damage they have put onto that person. The harm they caused, it all backfires.
A friend that you have barely spoken to all year and then talk to every day for a week. A person who you think, 'hmm, I am finally becoming friends with this person...' Then after the week they return back to their normal life, leaving you behind once again.
That person that you never thought would change and the next time you talk to them their whole life has turned around for the better and they won't shut up about it. When you feel like the only way you're friendship is surviving is because they keep bringing up the one topic that they love and you're secretly sick of.
When you feel as though your friendship is just a game, a label being tested. They push all your buttons, then tick all the boxes. But the hardest thing is that you never feel like you're winning, you're always that one step behind, always the one being played.
Missing out on the action is worse when you know what you're missing out on. There will always be that friend who will help you out by telling you everything they got to do today with this person and that person, while you sit at home hopelessly wishing you were there with them all in on the action, instead of watching from a distant sideline.
Sometimes I wonder whether it's people who change, or if it is I who notice the differences in people that I may have not seen the day before. Perhaps it is I who changes in an instant, if I change my viewpoint. I am most likely the one pushing these friendships away but sometimes you get sick of the complicated friendships, of all the confusion that follows it. Sometimes you just want a person who doesn't get tired of you. Here I am thinking of the perfect friend. We all know by now it's impossible to be perfect therefore I should stop creating perfect people in my mind. It's crazy how people do things in a split second that can cause a shatter in the friendship for months. Girls fight over guys, people accuse people of backstabbbing, gossiping and rumours. Friendship is a rare thing these days. To find a true friend is a challenge, and having the ability to keep that friend is an even greater one.
La Vie Vivante.
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